In fact, when we consistently do for others what they can do for themselves, they will not only be enabled, but resent us.
Do you feel like your child resents you?
Let's take a quiz and assess your parenting style:
As you may have noticed there are generally three parenting styles in which parents fall under; authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. It may depend on the circumstance of the situation but most parents fall under a specific style.
The best way to parent a child is that of the authoritative style. This style focus's on the needs of the child. But, the authoritative and permissive styles of parenting are focused on the needs of the parent.
If you found you were either permissive or authoritarian on the quiz... then I would advise you to adopt the style of authoritative.
The authoritative approach equalizes structure, trust, and mutual respect.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T! That IS the KEY!
The key to a positive relationship with your teen... and I'm not just talking about your teen respecting you, but you respecting your teen.
When you want your teen to get something done you should
1) Inquire your teen with a polite request and if that doesn't work...
2) Use an "I" request. For example: "I get frustrated when there is dirty clothes on the floor so can you please pick them up before I come home?"
3) Next, it's time to make a firm request.
4) If nothing else works then resort to creating together with your teen natural and logical responses. This can include (either/or and when/then) statements.
As you may have been able to tell, politeness will work! MHM, imagine that ;)
I can totally relate to this with my mom! Every time she wanted my sister and I to do something she would be so polite and ask us something like, "Hey girls, do you want to come down and set the table for me? That would be a lot of help!"
I say, if your kid is doing something you done want them to do then don't try to force them. Consequently, this will create a power struggle between parent and child.
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