Overeating Does Not Cause Cheating

It's probably not the way you look...

No, you're not fat.

He didn't leave you because of your looks, so STOP blaming yourself.

The way to prevent affairs within marriage is not to workout endlessly and look like a model... shocking, I know.

To me, sometimes it seems that so many people are cheating and divorcing and that marriage is scary because you can never really trust anyone that they will be faithful when Tim and Jane across the street are getting a divorce from her having an affair.

I do have some good news! Not everyone cheats.

The National Marriage Project (2008) revealed that about 21% of married men and 14% or married women report having an affair (though these numbers would be higher since a lot of people have affairs secretly).

There are many reasons why people have affairs:

• Emotional or relational stress
• High amount of conflict
• Lack of being physically intimate
• Environmental influences

In fact, there are four main types of affairs which include:

• Fantasy - Lusting after another within one's mind with unclean thoughts and attitudes
• Visual - Pornography and other media
• Romantic - Emotional intimacy
• Sexual - Adultery (physical act)

I think that most of us have heard of why and how marriages fall apart because of an affair, but I wanted to focus on how we can prevent affairs from even starting. 

Clue: It is NOT by looking smoking hott ;)

There are two main things that both husband and wife need to do together; setting boundaries and being loyal...fiercely loyal. 

(Glass, 1999; Goddard, 2007):

Wise Walls

• Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours their heart out to you.

• Don’t share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative. 

This develops deep levels of intimacy.

• If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about 

your own marriage.

• Discuss marital issues with your spouse. Work on the problems at home. If you do 

need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure they are a friend of the 

marriage.

• Don’t have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.

• When you travel with a co-worker, meet in the public rooms, not in a room with a

bed.

• If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you 

bring your spouse along.

• If you value your marriage, don’t do lunch alone with an old flame.

• Don’t try to be cute or “flirty” with anyone other than your spouse.

• Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone

I think we can all agree that these are some excellent boundaries to follow in order to remain fully faithful to our spouse. Real problems do arise when people get the thought that they are above these boundaries and that an affair won't happen to them. 

Affairs happen the same way as when you fell in love with your spouse, so stay away from all temptations of being close to the opposite gender either emotionally or physically.

Cheating begins with a single thought. Controlling your thoughts (which lead to actions) is vital.

Fiercely loyal is putting your spouse first always always always!

So, this doesn't mean we should put the kids first and then our hair appointment to look good so our husband won't cheat on us... it means put him first!

By the way, this is the same for the guys out there. Put your wives first!

Follow these boundaries, control your thoughts, and always put your spouse first is the best way to prevent an affair in your marriage.

HAPPY LOYAL MARRIAGES :)